Raising Kids Who Love
Years ago, a couple moved into a house in our neighborhood, and the corners of our backyards connected. One day, I was out doing some yardwork when their dog wandered over, soon followed by one of our new neighbors. We introduced ourselves and chatted for a bit. Before she returned home, she invited me to join her and some friends from church at a Bible study at her house. Days later, they invited us over for dinner. It was the first time we had neighbors who stepped beyond small talk and sought real relationships. As our friendship and their family grew, we saw them teach their kids the importance of loving their neighbors.
Loving your neighbor is something that sounds simple, but we’re not always purposeful and intentional about it in the midst of today’s rhythm of busyness. Between school mornings, work schedules, sports or music practice, and homework, it can be hard to slow down enough to help our kids understand what loving others actually looks like. Yet when Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment, He followed loving God with loving others. He didn’t separate faith from everyday relationships.
Children are literal thinkers, and to them, “neighbor” means the people who live nearby or even next door. Helping kids understand a broader definition that goes beyond the houses on your street shapes how they approach daily life. One helpful way to explain it is that a neighbor is anyone God puts in our path, including classmates, teachers, teammates, and even people who may seem very different from us.
The most effective way to raise kids who actively look for ways to love others beyond their family and friends is to set an example with our own actions. When we model kindness, hospitality, and respect, children begin to understand that loving your neighbor is a way of life. Everyday moments, such as greeting neighbors, showing patience in traffic, or speaking respectfully about difficult people, all leave a lasting impression. Children notice when parents choose kind words instead of criticism, offer help without expecting recognition, and respond with grace during moments of frustration.
Loving your neighbor doesn’t require big, complicated plans. It grows best through small, repeatable actions that fit naturally into your family’s routine. Simple practices like writing thank-you notes, praying for others at dinner, or making blessing bags to give to homeless people who cross your path help children connect faith with action. You can build this into their rhythm by choosing one intentional act of kindness each week, letting kids help decide who to bless, and talking afterward about how it felt to serve.
Elementary-age children are learning how social dynamics work, which makes this a powerful time to encourage compassion. Kids often notice loneliness before adults do, especially in school settings. Helping them respond with kindness can begin with simple awareness. We can gently guide conversations by asking who seemed left out that day, how kindness could be shown tomorrow, or what they themselves would want if they were in someone else’s place. These questions connect directly to Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 7:12, where He explains that treating others with care reflects the heart of God. Loving our neighbor often begins with noticing them.
Not every neighbor feels easy to love. As adults, we often have a hard time loving when someone’s lifestyle or beliefs don’t align with ours or their behavior is unkind. It’s important for us to work on this so we can help our children learn to extend love to all, not just the ones who are likable. We can all learn to choose to respond with respect, self-control, and kindness—even when others don’t.
Serving as a family helps children see that loving others is a shared calling. When families serve together, kids learn that faith isn’t just personal—it’s communal. Simple service projects, such as donating food or clothing to local charities, sending cards to service men and women, or helping a neighbor with a small task, reinforce this truth.
Teaching our kids to love their neighbors isn’t about adding another to-do to the list—it’s about shaping how your family sees people. Through small, intentional practices, children begin to understand that following Jesus touches every part of life. These early years offer countless opportunities to plant seeds of compassion, empathy, and faith that will continue to grow long after childhood ends.
