It’s Not a Ministry, It’s a Mindset
A few years ago, I was at a conference, and one of the speakers was talking about a specific area of family ministry. As he described what to build and how to make it become a real part of the church, he said, “It’s not a ministry, it’s a mindset.” That phrase really stuck with me. So often, as ministry leaders, we assume that if something really matters, we have to launch a new program, build a new team, or establish a new line item in the church budget. But many of the shifts we hope to see in families don’t come from adding something new, but they come from cultivating a new way of seeing the world.
One of the most important mindset shifts we can help parents make is around service. This includes service in the church, service in the community, and service at home. Most families we deal with already value being busy. They are involved in so many things, but true service that is shaped by the love of Jesus invites something deeper. It asks families to move from “What works for us?” to “Who has God placed around us?” Helping parents see service as a way of life, not just a once-a-month activity, lays a foundation that will shape how teenagers follow Jesus long after they leave the youth group.
Youth ministry leaders play a critical role in helping parents make this shift. One simple way we can push in this direction is through using consistent language that points parents towards service. When we talk with parents, in parent meetings, emails, or casual conversations, we can reinforce the idea that serving others is part of everyday discipleship. Sharing short stories of students who noticed a lonely classmate, helped a neighbor, or served behind the scenes at church helps parents see what’s possible for their teens. These stories subtly teach parents that service isn’t heroic or complicated, but it’s faithful presence and love in ordinary places.
Another practical approach is to resource parents with small, manageable ideas they can actually live out. Instead of only promoting large service events, ministry leaders can send short devotionals or conversation starters that encourage families to look outward during the week. IN your weekly email, maybe suggest asking this at the dinner table: “Who did you notice today?” or “Where did you see someone who might need encouragement?” These simple prompts help parents disciple their teenagers by training them to pay attention and respond with compassion.
But don’t forget that shared experiences still matter. Creating opportunities for families to serve together by doing things like packing food boxes, cleaning up a local park, or supporting a community partner all give parents and teens a common story. But the real win comes when the church helps parents process those experiences after the fact. Encouraging parents to ask, “What did you notice?” or “How did serving change the way you saw people?” turns an event into Christian formation. Over time, parents begin to understand that the goal isn’t checking a box but shaping a heart.
Ultimately, helping families develop a mindset of service is about culture more than curriculum. When church leaders consistently celebrate humble acts of love, equip parents with simple tools, and keep pointing families back to the way Jesus served, a shift begins to happen. Families start to see their homes, schools, and neighborhoods as their mission field. And when that happens, service stops being a program the church runs and becomes a way of life that points people to the love of Christ.
