The Memories We Make

I know a family that has a great summer tradition. Every year as they approach June, they sit down and make a list. This isn’t a boring, normal list, but a big, exciting, hopeful list of things their family wants to do during the summer. This list typically includes places they want to go, both close by and farther away. It has things they want to read, things they want to watch, and simple opportunities for the family to connect. They often spend a few weeks leading up to creating the list brainstorming on their own. And then, on list day, they break out several pieces of poster board, colored markers, and stickers, and they get to work creating their masterpiece. The list then hangs in their dining room all summer as they check off as many items as they can. It really is a great family tradition that sets them up to have a great few months together.

When it comes to the way our kids and teenagers develop, memories matter. As they grow up, they build a bank of family memories that are both good and bad. These memories will stay with them for a long time and help to shape who they become. Those memories shape their sense of family, their identity, and even their values. As parents, we have the opportunity to plant healthy family memories in their brains and hearts. When we spend time in fun family environments, we build stronger relationships and stronger family ties, and we help our teens build a stronger family identity. All this plays into who they believe they are and how they continue to grow.

Summer is often a time when we have more time with our teenagers. Even though they may have a lot going on, they typically aren’t as busy as they are during the school year. They are home more, have less to think and worry about, and generally have more time to give to their family. Now, they may not always want to give their time to family activities, but they do have the time to give. As you think about what you want your family’s summer to look like, take some time to think through what you want these few months to look like. Are there both some big things and some simple, small things that you can do to make your family’s summer memorable? 

As you begin to develop a plan, include your teenagers in the process. The quickest way to kill the vibe is to drag them into something they didn’t choose. But if you invite them into the process and ask what they’d love to do and what will make summer fun, restful, or meaningful for them, you might be surprised. They might not say much at first, but their input matters. It shows them they have a voice, and it helps the whole family feel more connected. You’re not likely to put everything they want to do on the list, but you will discover a little about how they are thinking and what they want summer to look like. And they might even have some good ideas that will get you excited to spend time with them.

So go ahead and plan the trip if that’s possible this year. But don’t underestimate the small stuff, either. Go to the movies. Stay up late and binge-watch a show together. Take walks. Share a meal around the table. Grab ice cream after dinner. Even a five-minute car ride can become a memory if you lean into the moment.

This summer, don’t just let time pass, but mark it with intention, fun, and family connection. Take the opportunity to build something beautiful together.