Fostering Connection and Community
I can remember when I first saw it starting to happen. Our son was in fifth grade and an active part of our church’s children’s ministry. Every Sunday, the kids would gather in a large group to sing and hear a short message, then break into small groups of 6–8 with an adult leader. The conversations in those small groups probably weren’t too deep (after all, they were fifth-grade boys), but the relationships that began there continue today.
As our son moved into middle school and then high school, he stayed with that same core group of guys and the same two leaders. For eight years, those young men built relationships, wrestled with life’s challenges, and grew in their faith together. Over time, some guys came and went, but the core remained together. Now our son is about to graduate from college and get married, and three of the guys from that small group will be in his wedding.
The same thing happened with our daughter. She, too, found a group of friends and leaders she was deeply connected with at an early age in our church. Those connections have made a profound impact on her life and her faith.
Over the years, my wife and I have been so grateful for people like Geoff, Brett, Taylor, Courtney, Javi, Mary, Nikki, John, Woo, and more. These are leaders who invested time and energy in our kids. They weren’t just keeping them connected to church; they were reinforcing the truths we were teaching at home, providing safe places to wrestle with doubts, and modeling what authentic Christian community looks like. They were planting seeds of faith that, by God’s grace, are continuing to grow today.
Isn’t this what every parent wants? We want people in our kids’ and teenagers’ lives who are pushing in the same direction we are. The reality is that our kids are surrounded by voices like friends, coaches, teachers, and even co-workers. Many of these voices will pull them away from their true identity in Christ. That’s why we desperately need other voices pointing them back toward Jesus and the abundant life He offers.
But let’s be honest. Community is not easy. It’s not easy for our kids, for us, or for anyone. It takes time, effort, and intentionality, and people can be messy. But if we want our families to experience the fullness of life God designed for us, we have to believe the effort is worth it. Connection isn’t about building a safe little bubble for our family to live in; it’s about stretching, growing, and being formed together into the image of Christ. And that usually happens in a community.
If you want your kids to embrace their identity in Christ, surround them with people who will help them do it. Encourage them to fight for relationships, to connect with peers and mentors who will challenge and support them. Small groups at church, Christian clubs at school, and trusted family friends are all great ways to help your kids experience authentic community. My wife and I even joined groups ourselves, so our kids would have both peers and adults influencing them in positive ways. Yes, it takes work, but I promise you, it’s worth it.
At the end of the day, as our kids and teenagers grow up and look back at their early years, they won’t just remember the lessons or the programs. Heck, they probably won’t remember anything we taught them. They will remember the people who walked alongside them. So, let’s do the work to help them connect to the people who are pointing them toward Jesus and toward the kind of community that will shape their faith for a lifetime.
