The Art of Good Questions

I stared at a room of blank faces until one student finally asked, “Um…can you repeat the question?” Anyone who has been in youth ministry has felt the awkwardness of this situation. You wonder why your small group is quieter than a family after mom asks who ate the last of the ice cream. But what if the problem isn’t our students? What if we’re asking the wrong questions?

“How does that passage make you feel?”

“Is prayer important?”

“Have you ever doubted your salvation?”

You’ve probably seen questions like these in several different curricula. At first glance, they may seem run-of-the-mill. However, I believe these types of questions are examples of questions we want to avoid. Asking questions and discussing in a small group setting is our opportunity to see if students understand what we’re teaching them. It’s their chance to respond. If we don’t ask the right questions, we fail in helping them carry these truths outside the church building. Here’s what I mean… 

WORDS MATTER

Let’s look at the first question: “How does this passage make you feel?” What is a question like that communicating to a student? At best, it’s ignoring the author’s intent and the biblical message. At worst, it suggests to a student that our feelings about a passage matter more than the truth of God’s Word.

Rather than making ourselves the center of the question, let’s elevate God’s Word and ask, “What do you think the author’s original meaning was? What truth or truths is God showing us through this passage?” Feelings have their place, but emotion-based questions have a greater chance of keeping a student where they’re at than helping them move forward in their faith.

Let’s look at another question: “Is prayer important?” Put on your sailor hat, because Captain Obvious just made port! Kidding aside, overly simplistic questions that end with a “yes” or a “no” don’t move the group along. Instead, it can stop the conversation, leaving students thinking “Did he really just ask us that?” or “That’s too easy. Must be a trick question.” Our goal as small group leaders is to keep the conversation moving. We want to help students move from a place of comprehension to application.

Questions like “Have you ever doubted your salvation?” have the potential to be like a grenade; it may blow up in your face or be a dud. A single student may answer, and instantly feel judged by the group’s silence; while everyone is thinking about what that student said, rather than focusing on the discussion. Maybe the question is so exposing that no one answers, and the leader is forced to move on.

Questions that uncover a person’s vulnerabilities and insecurities in a small group setting have the potential to dramatically affect the vibe in the room, for better or for worse. I heard a story of one student opening up about his sexual addictions in his middle school boys’ group, and as time went on, more of the guys opened up about the same struggles and temptations they faced. Their shared struggles strengthened their friendship with each other, and the group was better for it. On the other hand, I’ve also heard of stories like a young woman who opens up about her eating disorder in her small group, and now the other girls in her youth group avoid talking to her.

Questions that risk exposure are a big gamble. Rather than using a question that may call someone out, use a more open-ended and generalized question, like “Who here has ever…? What was that like for you?” Seek to connect students in the group over similarities, instead of risking exposure and isolation. As a small group leader, you may be better off asking those more probing questions in a different setting.

RAISING THE BAR

Often, a prewritten curriculum may use the same questions for a middle school and high school audience. This saves time for the writers and makes it more universal for their audience. However, middle school and high school students are at very different stages intellectually and emotionally, and require different approaches.

Most middle school students are still at a “black-and-white” stage of thought called concrete thinking. At this stage, there’s a lot that still may be literal to them, and metaphors may go over their head (Cue Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy: “Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.”) Middle school students have an easier time hearing and understanding a story from the Bible because it’s a straightforward narrative. Other genres, like Jesus’ parables, may be more figurative to them and require greater time from you to explain the meaning.

As students get older, they move from concrete thinking to abstract thinking, which means they begin to conceptualize, utilizing critical thinking and creativity more often. They understand non-literal ideas better and make connections easier. This is the stage where you, as a small group leader, will (hopefully) have an easier time helping students understand how Scripture relates to their everyday lives. Knowing where your small group is developmentally will go a long way in helping you ask better questions.

Are better questions in our small groups the end goal? No, of course not. But by learning how to ask better questions, students will retain, think, and apply what we teach them. Through better teaching and biblical discipleship, we help them grow in their relationship with Christ, and that is the end goal.

REEVALUATE AND REWRITE

If asking good questions can help us make better disciples, where do we go from here? How can we put this into practice? It’s worth taking the time to reevaluate your curriculum to see if it asks good questions.

First, think like your audience, the person who’s hearing these questions for the first time. Students. Put yourself in a student’s shoes. How would they read or hear this question? Make sure the question is phrased in a neutral way and be sure they wouldn’t misinterpret it. (Hint: If you ask your middle school boys to list “6 or 7 ways we can apply this”, you will never get that group back on track. Ever.)

If you use a prewritten curriculum, don’t be afraid to rewrite the questions for your context. They even encourage that in the “How to use this curriculum” section, which we all never read. But seriously, make sure you really look over the curriculum before you give it to your small group leaders. Don’t make it any harder on them. 

Maybe the questions you were going to use just aren’t landing as you prepare for the lesson. That’s okay! Don’t be afraid to write your own questions. If you’ve never done that before, try experimenting. It will become easier the more you do it. You could involve students by asking your leaders what they thought of the questions. You could even challenge them to write questions they feel their friends would answer.

At the end of the day, you know your students better than anyone. You know where they’re at. When it comes to questions, whether you recite or rewrite, your passion for God and His Word ought to come through as you teach. Praying the Holy Spirit leads you, as you lead students closer to Jesus.

Share your thoughts with others in our YM360 community:

1. When leading a small group, how much time do you spend studying the curriculum versus analyzing the questions? How can asking better questions make you a better teacher?
2. Is there another youth worker, or even a student leader, who can review questions in advance with you? Are the questions you’re asking clear, concise, and well-constructed?
   
   

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