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Leading Through the Noise: Balancing Opinions in Youth Ministry

Leading Through the Noise: Balancing Opinions in Youth Ministry

Everyone has an opinion. Literally, everyone. Oftentimes, those opinions are going to be different than yours, and guess what? That’s okay. I might even go as far as to say that’s a good thing. How boring would it be in ministry if everyone thought the exact same thing?

Now, the tension with everyone having an opinion is that you have become the place where those opinions get shared. Often unsolicited, unwanted, or unexpected. Your supervisor, the parents in your ministry, the leaders in your church, the students, the personnel team, the deacons, and even your spouse wish you would simply do things differently. I’ve been there. There’s nothing better than working hard in your ministry to have it followed up by someone’s “better late than never” idea on how he/she would have done it (in a sarcastic tone). At times, it hurts. At times, it’s helpful. At times, it’s good. But almost all the time, it feels like those comments come at the wrong time.

As a youth ministry leader, you have to learn how to weed through those conversations, ideas, and unnecessary dream sessions. What do you do with all the opinions? Whose do you listen to? Where do you draw the line? How do you balance leading and listening (especially when it’s from people who do not have a direct hand or investment in your ministry)?

In my years as a youth pastor, it was never quiet. People always talked. People all around me had their own version of what the youth ministry in my church should be doing, thinking, and attending. I didn’t realize how passionate people were about youth ministry until I became a paid youth pastor. The fleshly side of me would want to fire back and say, “Here! If you want to do it, then just take it and have my job.” But, what would that have really solved other than a short, temporary satisfaction, to then have it followed up with some type of consequence or even losing my job? I learned early on that in youth ministry, there’s a certain finesse we must have to navigate those conversations. It’s a skill. It’s confidence in the Lord and not man.

Vision VS Agenda

A phrase I learned to repeatedly say to people with opinions and ideas on how I should be doing ministry sounded a lot like this: “Thank you for sharing. I hear you and I’m thankful you told me. I get ideas and opinions all the time, so I will definitely add this to my notes to think about and pray about. In the meantime, as the youth pastor here, I’m asking people to trust me to build the youth ministry here the way God is calling and leading me. I get opinions from people all the time. Can you imagine what it would be like if all I ever did was take everyone’s opinions and apply them in our ministry? It would be wild. So, as someone in our church and ministry, I’m asking you to trust me and join in where God is leading us.”

I would say that in the most sincere and genuine tone I could muster. And I really meant those words. I found that in those conversations, it was a chance to meet people where they were, hear them out, offer to spend more time thinking about it, and then cast some vision for them to trust me to lead the ministry that God has called me to do. Most of the time, the conversations always ended very positively, supporting, and I found myself a new champion or cheerleader in my ministry that I didn’t have before. Sometimes, people are so used to having their way it’s nice for them to have someone in front of them who is steadfast and committed to the calling placed before them.

So, Who Is Right?

These conversations bring about a chance to encourage your church people to reflect on the following questions or thoughts: Who is right? Am I right? Is somebody else right? Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not leading this because I didn’t realize somebody is always giving them an opinion.

As you lead those conversations, invite people to pray for you and the ministry. Obviously, you, as the youth leader, care deeply about those students, and so does the other person. But what if there was someone who cared more?

Insert their Savior.

That’s right. There is. Jesus, our Savior, cares more for these students than you and I ever could. So, as you lead people to follow you into new places, invite them to join with you to pray and intercede for them. Invite them to give you wisdom and discernment as you lead these students that God has entrusted to you.

Remember Your Role

The bottom line is that these aren’t easy or fun conversations. Sometimes, they hurt a little. They are, as it might appear, a form of confrontation. Some of you squirm when you hear that word. But, as shepherds and leaders of your congregation, God has called you to a holy and mighty work. That work involves you leading people. Sometimes, leading people where they don’t want to go or leading people where they don’t know they’re supposed to go. As leaders, we have the great privilege to help bring people to new areas of growth in their understanding of God, ministry, and students. What a joy.

So, while everyone has an opinion, welcome it, but you must be guarded. As you lead in your ministry, be sure your direction comes from the Lord. Be mindful to lead out of an overflow of your own walk with Jesus and time in Scripture. God offers vision and direction when we seek Him. Invite people to join you on the journey that God is guiding you on. You are the God-appointed leader of your ministry. Follow where God is leading you.

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Charles Spurgeon said, “The preacher who neglects to pray much must be very careless about his ministry. He cannot have comprehended his calling.”

Let those words not be true of you. You lead out in your church as the minister who is known for prayer, listening, and trusting that God will lead and that He will give you the strength to follow. Be a church leader who prays much, cares much, and understands the calling given!

Share your thoughts with others in our YM360 community:

  1. What do you do when you receive opinions or ideas on a better way to do ministry?
  2. How have you considered inviting people to follow you as you follow where God is leading you?

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