Creating A Culture of Belonging

In Harry Potter, we are introduced to a lonely boy named Harry. Harry has been told that he doesn’t amount to much and that no one wants him around his entire life. He grows frustrated with his current situation, but there isn’t anything he can do about it. However, one day, in his aunt and uncle’s house, he begins to receive letters from Hogwarts. Several chapters later, we see Harry boarding a train at platform 9 ¾, where he meets his soon-to-be best friend Ronald Weasley. As the story continues, that friendship expands to three famous characters, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and their friendship stands the test of time. For Harry, some people were just like him and wanted him around, but his current circumstances didn’t allow him to see past his loneliness.

In student ministry, we often encounter teenagers who feel like Harry did. They feel isolated, alone, or unwanted. It may be because of their home life or their interests. As student ministry leaders, we need to help these students feel like they belong. After all, isn’t that what Jesus did? Remember the women at the well in John 4? Jesus approached, cared for, and loved a person who, by all accounts, was an outcast in her culture. So, my hope for us who invest in students is to serve intentionally to help them belong. In light of that, here are some things you can do to help create a culture of belonging.

Set The Example

In many ways, the ministry we lead reflects how we lead. We must be careful to set the right example. When someone new walks in, are you the first to introduce yourself to their parents and ask them what their name is? Have you created systems to ensure that they are greeted well upon arrival? Make sure that you seek out the person who may be sitting alone or may not seem to fit in well. Students need to be reminded that they belong, even if they have different interests or hobbies. If you want students to feel like they belong, then as the leader, set the example and work to build that counter. One way I’ve been told this is that you can’t lead someone to a place you aren’t willing to go.

Challenge Others To Join You

At some point, it becomes necessary for you to multiply yourself when welcoming others. By challenging adult volunteers or core students, we can create a welcome culture. Challenging others to join you allows you to reach and welcome more people. Sometimes, it is also more appropriate for an adult volunteer or core student to initiate a long conversation with a new person. For instance, it’s probably wise to ask a female volunteer to get to know a new girl instead of a male. Put simply, you can’t reach everyone, but we can reach more with the help of volunteers and core students. That’s why it’s so important to set an example and bring others along with you. As you multiply yourself, you’re extending what the ministry can do.

Know Your People

Part of being a pastor or leader is knowing the people you are leading. Don’t just know their names; know their interests. This will help immensely in working towards a culture of belonging. For example, I try my best to ask new students what they do for fun and use that information to pair them with a student who has those same interests. I guide our volunteers and core students in doing the same. C.S. Lewis once said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’” Like anyone else, a new student will be more likely to engage if they find a friend with someone who is like them in some way.

Ask The Lord

Lastly, we must ask the Lord to help our ministry environments become a place of belonging. We ought not to seek this out just for the sake of community, but rather that students would eventually come to love Jesus more than the things of this world. Much of deep discipleship starts with a sense of belonging.

I pray these tips are helpful for you as you seek to lead well where the Lord has placed you and create environments that help students belong to something bigger than themselves.

Share your thoughts with others in our YM360 community:

1. Has there been a time when you felt alone, and God’s people made you feel like you belonged? When?
2. Which of the tips helped you the most? What would you add?