Four Tools for Coaching Leaders
Every leader needs a good coach—someone who can come alongside them and help them become better. They don't need another boss to tell them what to do or a parent to hold their hand. They need someone who believes in them and empowers them to do the good works that God has put in front of them. Your youth leaders need you to be that kind of coach.
Good coaches use the LEAD toolkit: listen, encourage, assist, and develop. These tools go further than recruiting a good leader or training a leader at orientation. They help ensure your leaders are moving in the right direction and have the passion and endurance to carry on, even when ministry is hard. Below are some practical ways you can implement these vital coaching tools in your everyday leadership. If you are intentional about these coaching habits, they will help you spur your leaders on to become the leaders they truly want to be.
Listen: Hear Their Hearts
Everyone wants to be heard, but few want to listen. Good coaches must be in tune with their leaders’ hearts and discover their successes, problems, and needs by using active listening. Active listening is essentially focusing on what the other person is saying just because you care. Rather than listening to come up with a response or getting distracted, you make that person feel like the most important person in the world to you. You do that, and your leader will pour their heart out if you give them your ear.
Listening well comes more naturally to some than others, but everybody can grow in their listening skills with a few simple tweaks. First, put away distractions like a phone (or smartwatch). Resist the temptation to look down and give up your attention. Second, ask good questions that invite them to share real feelings, concerns, and excitement. Third, in coaching, it is best to help them talk more than you. Oftentimes, if they are working through a problem, they need to talk it out with a listening ear more than they need an elegant solution.
Encourage: Lift Their Spirits
Encouragement can be the wind that fans a dead fire into a roaring flame. It can blow wind in the sails of a struggling leader and can save you from many off-boarding conversations in the future. Over time, your leaders will doubt. They will get tired. They will start to wonder if they are doing a good job. That is the normal path of leadership. But in those moments, it is your job to jumpstart their confidence with loads of encouragement.
Encouragement can come in a variety of packages. I’ve been encouraged through something as simple as a text message and as personal as in-person prayer. A hand-written card or a shout-out from the stage can go a long way, too. Whichever form it takes, good coaches make their encouragement common, consistent, and casual. Encouragement should be common in that it is the regular mode of communication between you and your leader. It should be consistent, meaning that it should not wax and wane with the flow of your busy schedule. In fact, it is likely when your church is the busiest that your leaders need encouragement the most. Lastly, encouragement should be casual, meaning that it does not require a big show or a lot of money. For common and consistent encouragement to be sustainable, it needs to be simple but intentional.
Assist: Care for Their Hearts
The only difference between a leader and the people they are leading is their position. They both need Jesus. They both have problems and stresses. They both have someone who cares about them and can come alongside them and assist them in their time of need. You are God’s way of caring for your leaders’ hearts as they care for others’ hearts. No leader is perfect, but every leader wants to be. A good coach will help leaders get better while freeing them from the expectation of perfection. Every leader will have spiritual problems and leadership questions, and you are in the perfect place to assist them so they can get the care they need.
Here are two simple suggestions to help you assist your leaders with the struggles of leadership. First, prioritize their relationship with God over their leadership for God. These are deeply connected, but there is an order that should never be reversed. In fact, Jesus said that you cannot serve Him unless you follow Him first (John 12:26). Second, solve their problems with them, not for them. There are times when your leader is having trouble with a student, and you need to step in and handle it for them. However, most of the time, it is more beneficial to the leader and the student if you work with the leader to come up with a solution themselves.
Develop: Build Their Skills
Healthy leaders grow in their leadership ability. They hone their skills and push themselves to try new things. The hard part is knowing where to go and how to get there. Most leaders do not have a clear picture of their strengths and weaknesses and what to do about them. Leaders need some help seeing their potential and working toward that potential. As a coach, you can help them reach their potential by showing them the path ahead and giving them skills to work on.
One way to build skills in your leaders is through team drills. Team drills are challenges or initiatives that you work on as an entire team. For example, you could challenge the whole team to have a meaningful conversation with one new student at your gathering, or you could challenge them to pray for each student on your roster three times this week. This unites everyone with a common goal and allows for the team to encourage one another. A second way to build skills in your leaders is through individual drills. Your leaders have individual needs that are unique to their gifting and purpose. Acknowledge that gifting and give your leaders drills that are specific to the areas of development that would serve them best. For example, if you have a leader who wants to grow in public speaking, give them an opportunity and equip them for the task. If you have a leader who is having trouble connecting with students, take them with you as you connect with first-time guests so they can practice. Personalize the drill to the skill you want to develop.
Share your thoughts with others in our YM360 community:
- How can you implement more consistent coaching with your current leadership?
- What are some skills you need to develop on your leadership team? What is one team drill you can use to develop that skill?
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