Empty Chairs, Valleys, and Our Identity

“Mountaintops inspire leaders, but valleys mature them.” – Winston Churchill.

If you have ever experienced the ebb and flow of student ministry, you have experienced this quote. Winston was right on the money with that one. There are things that you can’t learn on the mountaintop; the only way to mature, grow, and learn is through the valley. We all know about the student ministry cycle, graduating seniors who started as 7^th-graders, but I can say that I am talking about the cycle of going from a small ministry to a bigger ministry back to a smaller ministry. This article is a sequel to my article, “When Your Student Ministry Declines.”

I wanted to follow up on that article because the basis of it was attendance on Wednesday night. I remember writing that article, still hoping and praying my student ministry would grow back to what it was, but guess what? After I wrote that article, it shrunk even more! I will never forget counting 8, yes 8, students in a large room on a Wednesday night two months ago; just two years ago, I was counting in the 40s. While I was updating my résumé out of the fear of getting fired, God began to show me things about me, again, in the valley. Below are some of the things that God showed me and led me to do during that time:

I Had to Remember My True Identity

Why would I leave on Wednesday night feeling amazing after having a large group and feeling deflated when I had a small group? My identity was in the wrong thing—ministry—or even worse, the size of it. Student pastors, our identity should never be in anything other than our relationship with Jesus.

What does that look like? First, let me tell you what it doesn’t look like. If I was more eager on a Thursday morning to have a quiet time after a good night and not as eager to have a quiet time after a bad night, then my identity was in the wrong thing. I was not prepared for that tough season; I was riding high when the ministry was high, and then I found myself low when the ministry was low. Having our identities rooted solely in Jesus will be the anchor in those valley moments. Remember, a call to ministry is, first and foremost, a call to Jesus, and everything we do in ministry is an overflow of our time with Jesus. I will never forget 4 weeks ago when I left on a Wednesday with 12 students, and I didn’t feel like a failure—it was so liberating. Tough seasons in ministry are coming if they are not already here. My identity was in ministry success and failure instead of Jesus; it is also in that relationship with Jesus where you express your concerns and ask Him to do what you can’t: save souls, sanctify souls, bring revival, etc.

I Had to Stop Looking at Student Ministry as Just a Wednesday Night Ministry

I know Wednesday nights are our big night, and they should be. My problem was that I was neglecting the other days of the week and the other places students go. I was already helping coach our high school football team, but I realized that I needed to be involved in other areas. It was around that time that one of my good friends, who just so happens to be the FCA Huddle Coach at the high school, asked me to come to speak at their FCA meeting on a Thursday morning, and afterward, I asked him if I could come every Thursday even when I wasn’t speaking. That has opened the door to me leading a Bible Study for the boys’ basketball team and potentially one for the cheerleaders. Instead of being around 15 students or so a week, our ministry now welcomes around 50-60 students, not counting the football team, more so than when the ministry was at its biggest.

So, instead of just seeing students on Sundays and Wednesdays, I am now seeing students on Tuesdays and Thursdays through Bible Study and FCA. It has given me more influence than any big Wednesday night service to bring.

I Had to Talk to My Pastor

The lack of numbers on Wednesday night was very concerning and deflating, and I had finally reached my boiling point. I was tired of the feeling of failure, but I also knew that I needed advice and to assure my pastor that I was doing all I knew to do (so I thought). I told him that this has been a tough season of ministry for me and that the lack of numbers was really beyond my control (mostly).

 My pastor assured me that he knew that it had been a tough season for me, and he was able to give me his perspective. It turns out that I was not doing all I knew how to do and that some of the things were in my control, such as…

I Needed to Allow More Time for Sermon Prep

I was not giving enough time to the teaching of the Word, and here is where I may have to walk back some of the things I wrote my previously mentioned article, “Sermons vs. Sanity,” at some point. At the time, I was doing a series called “TikTok Theology,” and it just wasn’t getting anywhere—it was also a series that I had “borrowed.” I was challenged to give my all in that regard. So I scrapped that series in the middle of it and started a new verse-by-verse series on the book of Malachi. Giving my all doesn’t mean giving all my time. My sermon prep still isn’t as much as it used to be, but it isn’t just 4 hours either. Six to eight hours is my sweet spot. Since I have been giving more attention and effort to sermon prep, things have been happening. That is not the reason, but God doesn’t honor half-hearted effort. As Adrian Rogers used to say, “It is not your job to fill the pew. It is your job to fill the pulpit. When you fill the pulpit, the rest of it is in God’s hands.”

 Make the Necessary Adjustments

This was a hard one for me because it caused me to have to define reality. Not that long ago, I was setting out 50 chairs in a large room, and they would be filled. Now, that is no longer the case. Making the necessary adjustments wound up being a phased operation for me. I went from setting out all those chairs and seeing half of them empty to setting out 30 chairs in that large room and seeing half of them empty as well. So what did we do? We moved out of that large room into a smaller room. I am not going to lie: that was an ego hit. But moving out of that large room into a smaller room has already paid dividends. There is no longer a huge space, but the smaller space that can only hold 24 chairs has allowed us to grow closer as a group, and we have been able to make that space our own instead of having to share that larger space with several ministries. Once I quit trying to hang on to what was, defined the reality, and made the adjustments to that reality, it made me excited for the future because I was no longer living in the past.

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 These are the things that I learned in the valley through God’s grace. There will be other valleys as well. Maybe you are in the valley right now, or maybe you are headed into one. If you are, get ready for growth. For me, success in ministry made me a prisoner of it. I no longer have a “big youth group,” and I know there will be nights of 8-10 or even lower again. But if I still had a big youth group, I wouldn’t have learned the lessons that God taught me. I would still be arrogantly thinking the success had to do with me, and I wouldn’t have realized that my identity was in ministry and not in Jesus.

Share your thoughts with others in our YM360 community:

• What are some of your valley moments in student ministry? What did you learn in those times?
• What would you say to fellow student pastors who are in the valley?

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