Communicating With Parents

“What time is the bus leaving?” 

“What should they bring?”

“I didn’t know anything about this!”

If you’ve been in youth ministry for any amount of time, you have most likely heard these questions and frustrations from parents by now. You probably also know the disappointment after putting together details for events, publicizing for weeks, and people still don’t know what’s going on. You ask yourself, “What am I doing wrong? Do they not care? Is it me or them?” Honestly, the answer is a bit more complicated. Here are some thoughts that may help you in better communicating with parents.

Recently, I read the book Start with Why, by Simon Sinek, and his concept of the Golden Circle. It helps businesses and organizations start with the question of “why” they exist, and work out from there to “How” and “What”. It’s designed to give groups purpose and direction, but in the realm of communication, I believe these questions are just as important. For clarity in this article, communication with parents refers to written communication, not verbal. That could be another blog altogether!     

WHY ARE YOU COMMUNICATING?

This seems like a straightforward question, but it’s worth thinking about for a few minutes. What is your purpose in communicating with the families in your church? Knowing your ‘why’ might even give you more motivation to get that email out to parents!

For example, is your ministry’s weekly email more about delivering information? Is it a tool you intentionally use to equip parents for the work of discipling their kids? One answer isn’t better than the other, but if your communication with them is informational one week and inspirational the next, it will seem like your goals are scattered, like you’re throwing ideas to the wall and seeing what sticks. If it’s a weekly email, have a section for upcoming events, but also links for parents that will help them connect with their teenager. Whatever your goal, focus on what you want to say, and be consistent with it.

You may be in a situation where the youth ministry has always had a weekly email/text, and now you feel you need to continue that tradition, in the same way your predecessor did. That’s not necessarily the case. If the youth pastor before you could create beautiful templates that look like he worked with Adobe Photoshop as a side hustle, don’t feel like you need to copy them. Be yourself! But if you want your weekly communication to look or sound better, don’t be afraid to ask for help either. You may have volunteers in your ministry with gifting in those areas!

Ask yourself why you’re communicating the way you are, and if there’s a better way. Does our ministry need to communicate this often in this way from now until forever? Probably not. I know change is scary (especially if you’re the new guy) because people may complain and say, “That’s not how so-and-so did it!” It’s ok. Change is inevitable, and eventually, people will get used to it.      

HOW ARE YOU COMMUNICATING?

You’ve probably heard some youth pastors say, “You can’t overcommunicate in ministry.” I’ve even said this to a few younger pastors myself! But as I’ve gotten older, I don’t know if that saying still holds up. Here’s the problem: In an effort to reach anybody and everybody, you may actually be reaching nobody. If I know as a parent that I can find information on the student ministry just about anywhere, chances are I won’t go looking for it. But if I know the two or three places to find it, I’ll be going back to those sources more often. Focus your communications on a few key methods (i.e., text, email, and Facebook). Overcommunicate about how you communicate.

Maybe you’re comfortable with your communication methods, but it still feels like families aren’t receiving what you’re putting out there. Don’t be afraid to ask parents how you can do a better job at communicating with them. You could say something like this, “Hey! I just wanted to make sure you’re getting our weekly email for our student ministry. In the last couple of weeks, we’ve asked parents to respond, and I haven’t heard back from you. I don’t want to add to your busyness — if there’s a more convenient way to connect, just let me know.” You’re doing a few important things here: 1) You’re holding them to a degree of accountability. Healthy accountability is important in communication; it goes both ways! 2) You’re recognizing their life and schedule are different than yours, and 3) you’re telling them you’re willing to adjust to help them. All of this together shows parents you want to be their ally, not an adversary.

As I said earlier, be consistent! If you’re writing the email that goes out Monday morning to families, on Monday morning, you’re already behind. Go ahead and at least get a rough draft of Monday’s email in your inbox before you leave for the weekend. If you can finish that email the week before, and have it scheduled to go out at 9:00 AM every morning, even better! (Pro tip: Clear and consistent communication with parents will help them build trust with you. Easy win!)

WHAT ARE YOU COMMUNICATING?

Former President Franklin D. Roosevelt was credited with the advice, "Be sincere, be brief, be seated.” This advice is good for deacon’s meetings, but also communication with parents! Think about how you read emails, texts, or even your church’s bulletin. If you’re like most people, you probably just read over the first few sentences of an email. The parents who get your emails probably do the same thing, so try to keep it short and to the point, or at least the most important things at the top of your email.

As you’re promoting the next event or including a reminder, don’t get caught up in using too many words. Keep it short, keep it simple. If you want to keep the attention of parents after they see the highlights, consider including some images from your last event, like a collage of 3-4 pictures. In the past, I’ve sent out weekly emails to families that include the “Need to Know” info at the top, followed by a recap picture from our last event, in-depth details about what’s happening, and a helpful article for families at the bottom. We don’t want to just keep parents informed; we want to keep them engaged. Make reading it worth their time.

Don’t make it hard to get connected to what’s going on in your youth ministry. If parents have to call you or the church office to have their name added to the email or text list, you may lose the chance to connect with them. With a little research and effort, you could make a free QR code on all your publications, which parents can scan with their phone to be automatically added to an email list through an app like MailChimp. This saves time for you and them.

Lastly, with all this talk of instant communication and automated emails, don’t neglect the important act of reaching out to parents directly. Not to inform or update, but simply to ask, “Hey, you were on my mind, and I was wondering if there’s anything I can be praying for you about this week?” I promise you that it will always mean more to someone than a reminder about camp deadlines. 

Share with others in our YM360 community:

• Consider asking a volunteer parent in your youth ministry for their thoughts on what and how you communicate. Tell them they have permission to be as honest as possible.
• What could you add to the weekly email that makes it more than just announcements? How could you make it into a conversation starter that parents look forward to receiving each week?

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