Lesson One: Be Proactive
During my first youth ministry internship when I was 18, my supervisor had me read several books throughout our time together. He often would state, "Leaders are readers," and I had trouble believing him. Maybe some of you are better than me, but I never really found the "love" for reading that many people seem to have. However, as I've gotten older and learned from some incredible leaders, I've learned that many foundational concepts in life and leadership are found in some great books (when I thought they just naturally knew this information). One of those books is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. It has played such an influential role in our society that even my wife teaches it yearly in her elementary school classrooms! As we continue our vital work as youth pastors, many of us can get lost in planning events, meeting with our people, or executing our programs. In our work, we rarely pause and ask ourselves, "Am I being effective?" or even "Am I being the most effective I can be?" Our work is too important to settle for a mediocre level of effectiveness.
So, you may have heard of some of these habits, but the question I would like to propose to you is: how can we utilize these seven habits to be effective youth pastors? As we explore these concepts together, we can see the practical use these could play as we lead our ministry. The book defines a habit as "the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire" (Covey, pg 64). Many of us have the skills, and I would like to use this training to introduce some new knowledge and hopefully inspire that desire. As I introduce each habit, I will also walk us through the practical uses within three major relationship categories: students, volunteers, and parents. Throughout this training, there will be plenty of opportunities to contextualize these habits towards your ministry environment in your effort to grow into the most effective youth pastor possible. Let's begin with our first habit: Be Proactive.
Be Proactive - Defined
We all know what it means to be reactive to the concerns of those around us in our ministry. Regardless of how effective our planning is, problems always arise when working with people. The ability to think quickly on our feet is a valuable skill in ministry, but sometimes, we utilize this posture as a default instead of an emergency measure. The first habit involves embracing a posture of proactivity, mainly within our "Circle of Influence."[1] This Circle of Influence is where we control our posture, attitude, actions, and responses in love. When we start being proactive, we take responsibility for the things we are tempted to ignore. It's this mindset, when applied to our youth ministry that lays the groundwork for our effectiveness as youth pastors. As we dive into our Circle of Influence categories, let's begin to identify how we can own the things in our control.
Be Proactive - Students
One year, I had a group of 10th-grade boys struggling to connect with their small group leader. Each week, they would fill their small group time with distractions, and everyone left feeling frustrated. Over several weeks, I observed this group and would offer coaching to our small group leaders that provided strategies to help increase engagement. After one particularly disruptive week, I called some of the parents to understand our students' disconnect from the group. Throughout those parent conversations, I heard the consistent message that "our students don't feel like anyone really knows them." They also informed me that the boys had all decided they were not returning to the youth group and were going elsewhere. Overnight, we lost almost our entire class of 10th-grade boys. Reflecting on this situation afterward, I realized my efforts to connect were too late. I share this story because I refused to be proactive with this group of students, and it cost me the opportunity to be their pastor during their high school years. As you think about your ministry today, what student problems, issues, or concerns have you been hesitant to address? When we embrace a posture of proactivity, we love our students enough to address their concerns before we lose them.
Be Proactive - Volunteers
Over the years of youth ministry, we begin to recognize the patterns and rhythms that occur annually. We know the large burst of adrenaline in our fall kickoff, the slower lull during the winter months (especially those Midwesterners), and the hype surrounding our most anticipated summer events. One of the greatest gifts we could give as we are proactive with our volunteers is to help them prepare for the cyclical parts of youth ministry. If we want to continue equipping our people for the work in youth ministry, we need to be proactive in preparing for the highs and lows. Have you ever received that dreaded text on Thursday morning from your volunteer that says, "Do you have a second to chat"? When I receive that text, I often know what conversation is about to follow: another volunteer has started to experience burnout, or there is something wrong. The realities of burnout are real, but if we embrace the habit of being proactive, we can develop strategies to help our volunteers before they reach their lowest point. We start creating some rhythms of rest in our calendars from events. We begin to incorporate training events at critical moments when engagement is at its peak. We begin to notice the posture of our volunteers on a Wednesday night or Sunday morning and initiate a conversation to encourage them. When we view the health of our volunteer teams as our responsibility, we must be proactive in caring for them. As you consider your teams now, what areas could you be proactive in preparing them for what is ahead?
Be Proactive - Parents
The investment you will receive from parents can vary from student to student. We all know there are those parents who find us every week in the church lobby or hallway and some parents who couldn't pick us out of a lineup of strangers. Regardless of our relationship with them, we recognize they have more time and influence with their student than we could have. When it comes to being proactive with parents, the key is simple: communication. Parents need to be kept in the loop if you want families in your ministry to understand what is going on and why it is happening. Recently, we took our group on a short trip to an out-of-town student conference. This trip was the first time our group had attended this conference, and for the most part, we were going blind. As comfortable as I felt leading up to the trip, I started receiving emails from parents with various questions. It was then that I realized we were two weeks away from this trip, and I had not sent a single detail of our itinerary to any of our parents. I had been answering student questions weekly, but those students had not returned those answers to their parents. If we want our parents to be confident and excited about how we minister to their students, we must communicate clearly and intentionally.
We could utilize a couple of strategies in our communication with parents. First, simply make a plan for your communication. When you are thinking through your next big ministry event or trip, think about how and when you want to provide details for parents. Second, anticipate questions before they arise. Start to develop some FAQ resources as you think about the questions parents may have and start to address concerns before they occur. Lastly, a few parent advocates should be selected to help provide perspective. Who are a few "rockstar" parents who could provide perspective and feedback on your communication style? Before making any big ministry plans, I run them past a few parents I trust to see if anything is missing from my communication. This action helps me catch some mistakes and can save me from many future back-and-forth conversations. As a youth pastor, it is our responsibility to invite and include parents in the life of our ministry. The best way we can do this is to communicate proactively.
Be Proactive - Reflection
Our first habit lays the foundation for all the habits to come. We must take action when we take that step into responsibility as a leader. Hopefully, you can see how the various parts of your Circle of Influence (students, volunteers, and parents) require different types of responsibility. However, as you will see throughout this training, many application points can be applied to either group depending on your ministry context. As you consider your youth group, I would ask, "What is one step you can take today in being proactive"? What is that one thing you have been putting to the sideline that you cannot ignore anymore? I challenge you to have the courage to embrace these challenges proactively, knowing that it sets your ministry up for success.
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[1]Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: The Infographics Edition (Mango Media, 2016) 119, Kindle Edition
