Tis the Season for Self-Care

My day-to-day typically involves constantly hearing people talk about how much is on their plate and how they envy when they hear of someone taking a vacation. As a therapist and a pastor's wife who is constantly on the go with two little ones, I often ask myself, “How can I best refuel myself so that I can always follow through with my best YES this season?” Burnout is something that we often feel as humans. The reality is most of us often think we can take care of everyone’s needs but our own. When I talk to people about their burnout, it never surprises me that a common answer is, “If I don’t take care of others, then I’m being selfish.” What I want everyone to hear is this: self-care is not selfish; the better you take care of yourself, the more you can support those around you. Often, people try to serve from a place of emptiness, which can lead to different types of burnout.

With the holidays right around the corner, consider taking time to ask yourself and answer honestly: how are you taking care of yourself? As ministry leaders, you spend much of your time pouring into others (spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally). I don’t want you to spend your days pouring out to have it followed up with a season of burnout. 

Taking care of yourself involves more than just getting your nails done, golfing, or binge-watching your favorite TV show. Avoid overindulging, which can lead to more self-sabotaging, addictive, and selfish behavior. What are you doing daily to fill your internal cup back up? Because the reality is, if you’re constantly running on empty, then how much longer until you crash?

I like to think of self-care in 4 categories. 

Physical - this can range from a five-minute walk around your neighborhood to going to the gym and doing a daily forty-five-minute workout. (Be realistic!) Physical exercise is a great step to prioritize self-care. The other thing I would challenge you to do is create a balance in what you do. This does not mean that we go all organic, but we’re also not going through the drive-through every day. For me, with two little ones and always feeling like we are on the GO, I like to take time after church on Sundays while both kids are napping and create three simple meals that can be ready for the upcoming week. Lately, the SAMS club has been my best friend since they have some options for pre-made meals and salads; this has been my go-to!

Mental- is this the season where professional help is sought out to begin dealing with things you have been avoiding? Become aware of thinking patterns and learn tools for how to work through them. How do you currently look at the world? Do you often focus on the negative and things that you don’t have control over? There are seasons when we need professional help to help us work through stuck points that life events may have brought to our lives. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone.

Emotional- don’t just throw everything under the rug, it will explode like confetti when you least expect it. Instead, feel it and acknowledge what is in your control in this situation. Also, acknowledge that the only thing that you can control is your reaction. I often link emotional and mental together. With daily tasks, we can experience different emotions. When those emotions are often anger/sadness/jealousy, this can be a signal that you have been neglecting yourself and might be running on empty. Don’t get stuck with your emotions. By practicing emotional self-care, you can learn to be more compassionate towards yourself. If you often find yourself trying to shut your emotions down, I would ask you, why are you afraid to feel that? What do you think will happen? For most people that I talk to in a professional setting or at church, the answer is often, “I’m afraid I won’t know how to turn it off.” This is valid, but by practicing emotional self-care, we learn to be comfortable with things we are feeling in the moment and also learn to manage the emotion that often does not need a response, just validation.

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Spiritual- In the midst of the busyness, what does your time with Jesus look like? Do you tell yourself, “I’ll start rereading my Bible once the new year starts?” or do you walk with Jesus through the chaos and busyness of the season? In Scripture, we often see where Jesus demonstrates examples of spiritual self-care. Jesus was often surrounded by people with different needs, but he also found time to pull away from the crowds for prayer and time alone with God. So, I ask you, are you making this time? I challenge you to create this time in the midst of the chaos. This could mean five minutes in the car between dropping and picking the children up or an hour early in the morning before everyone in the house wakes up. You know yourself, so create a plan and start it!

This holiday season, I challenge you to be present with everything the holidays bring. Creating a self-care plan challenges us but also helps us stay on track with what the reason for celebrating the season is. 

Share your thoughts with others in our YM360 community:

• At this time, what are the steps you are ready to take to ensure you are not constantly serving from an empty vessel? This could be something in all four areas mentioned above or a small step towards better boundaries.
• What is your BEST YES in this chaotic, joyful season?