We’ve all been there, sitting in a small group with middle schoolers, and nothing seems to be working. One student is lying prone on the floor with their face pressed to the ground. Another wouldn’t know if the room is on fire because they haven’t looked up from their phone. And though one answers every question you ask, they somehow never give an answer related to what you’re asking. The small group ends, and on the way home, you ask yourself, “What impact am I having on these students’ lives?” or “Am I really making a difference in their lives?” Many of us have been there, including me, but what if we can make a difference? What if all we need to do is shift how we view discipleship?

A disheartening percentage of kids who are connected to a youth group when they graduate high school will fail to stick with their faith in college. Even though this is heartbreaking, it should challenge us as youth leaders to re-evaluate how students are being discipled.

Back to the Basics: What is a Disciple?

In Biblical times, the word “disciple” typically marked someone as a follower of a particular teacher or philosopher. A disciple would think the same way the teacher did and would devote their lives to them. To be a disciple of Jesus means the same thing: to wholly devote one’s life to following Him. A disciple does not just know things about Jesus but has devoted their entire life to Him. Additionally, a disciple makes disciples, as commanded by Jesus in the Great Commission.

How do we make disciples of students?

When it comes to leading students and helping them become disciples of Jesus, we need to ask the honest question: “Am I helping students become disciples?” When we want to understand how to do this, we need to look no further than Jesus, the ultimate disciple-maker. We don’t need to have the most elaborate event, the best games, or the most elaborate programming; we need to look to Jesus. Jesus’ relationship with the disciples was not just a once-a-week meeting but an all-encompassing relationship.

The bottom line is that Jesus did life with the disciples. In John 21, one of Jesus’ last interactions with His disciples, we get an excellent picture of this. Jesus has just performed one last miracle by providing the unsuccessful fishing disciples with an enormous haul of fish. Once they had come ashore, Jesus says in verse 12, “Come and have breakfast.” This simple invitation from Jesus to the disciples gives us a view into how He went about discipleship. Jesus sat down with His disciples on the beach and had breakfast with them. Imagine their conversation. Though I am sure Jesus shared important spiritual truths over the meal, He also would have likely asked how the disciples were doing and shown interest in their lives. Jesus cared for the disciples, and in response, they devoted their entire lives to Him.

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So, how do we reflect this in our discipleship relationships? We do life with the students we are discipling. This may look like sharing meals like Jesus did, attending sports games or performances, showing up to birthdays, or even sending a simple text checking in. Jesus teaches that effective discipleship means doing life together. When we follow His model, students will trust us more and learn to follow Jesus.

Conclusion

Imagine the change you would see in small groups if you implemented this discipleship model. Not only would students care about what you have to say, but they would begin to care about and listen to each other. As a student, my small group leader was a champion of this model. He was constantly at sports games and never missed an opportunity to hang out with me and the other guys in the group. While I didn’t recognize it then, his investment in our lives established him as a role model we all learned from. He became the guy we called when things weren’t going well.

Most importantly, he helped us grow into followers of Jesus. To this day, I still talk to him on the phone and share about my life. When we disciple students like Jesus taught, our impact becomes eternal.

Share your thoughts with others in our YM360 community:

• Take a moment to reflect on your current discipleship model; what do you see as its strengths and weaknesses?
• What changes do you need to make to better disciple students like Christ?

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