Youth Ministry Essentials: When Is A Youth Minister Too Old To Be Effective?
When is a youth worker too old to be effective?
I’ve noticed something that happens to us youth workers around our mid-30′s, or so. We find ourselves unable to naturally relate to teenagers. Most of us have reached a point where we don’t automatically pick up on their references like we did in our 20′s. They mention a fad or a movie and we realize we have no idea what they’re talking about. This happens enough, and it begins to bother us.
We begin to think that means we’re too old. We hear a clock ticking inside of us. We say something like, “I’ve lost my relevance.”
There are other signs, as well . . .
The needle on our fun-meter is not as often moved by the games and the recreation. We think, “I need to move on to more adult things.”
We see our peers “advancing” to become Minister to Adults or Teaching Pastors. We say to ourselves, “I need to move on to real ministry.”
We see our friends leaving the ministry. We say to ourselves, “Is it time for me to quit playing around and get a real job?”
The problem with this scenario is that it comes at the precise time when we are positioned to do some of the most meaningful ministry of our lives (up to this point).
At the exact time when these feelings are banging around in our heads, many of us are just arriving at a point where we can really pour spiritual wisdom into the lives of those we lead. When I was leading students at age 25, if I was being transparent, I led as a peer as much as anything else. The 35 year old me and the 25 year old me have very little in common spiritually speaking. And it’s not just spiritual experience. I’ve lived life! In 10 years I’ve had three children, changed careers, lost a sibling and three grandparents, gone off to war, traveled and ministered around the world, and so on. I bet your story is similar.
In each of these situations, I’ve learned more about God and how He works in this world and in my life. My faith has been tested and stretched and shaped in ways I couldn’t have begun to imagine as a younger man. I bet you’d say the same.
Aren’t we in a better position to lead students in their faith based on our faith-shaping experiences?
I am a more effective discipler in large part because of the wisdom that God has worked in my life through these years.
The same can be said about your ability to lead others.
The same can be said about your ability to listen to others.
The same can be said about your patience, and your ability to work well with people who may be difficult to work with.
And one of the biggest tragedies of people leaving youth ministry at this critical stage in their lives is the wealth of practical knowledge that leaves with them.
It seems each week I encounter a youth worker who is just getting started. Some are just kids, some are moms and dads. I hear them asking me and others for help. Help with strategy. Help with methodology. Help with with their heart and vision. When youth ministers who have been in the game six, or eight, or ten years moves on, they take with them a treasure-trove of practical experience.
As a middle aged youth worker, you are in the best position to be a mentor to younger youth workers. And when you leave because it’s maybe not as “fun” anymore, or because you “feel” out of touch (when the truth is that you simply have to try a little harder), or because you’re envious of your friend who has “moved up” in the ministry world . . . when you walk away because of these things and NOT because of God’s leading, you rob youth and youth workers from the spiritual and practical wisdom that God has birthed in you.
When is a youth worker too old to be effective? Never. And as I’ve stated here, an argument could be made that you’re at your most effective with a little age under your belt.
Thoughts?
Andy Blanks is the co-founder of youthministry360. Andy has worked in youth ministry for 13 years, leading small groups and developing Bible study resources for several organizations. Andy is a volunteer youth leader with his church’s youth group, leading small groups, and speaking and teaching whenever he gets the chance. Andy blogs daily about discipleship at andyblanks.com.
Did God send me this email?
I’m 46, 2 years new to Youth Ministry and considering returning to college for a Youth Ministry Degree, but felt too old.
Thanks to everyone who commented about your age!
I feel young again!
Cheryl, I love it . . . great response. There’s no time like now! God’s got you right where He wants you and has equipped you to do what He has called you to. Have fun! And thanks for stopping by.
I’m with Cheryl on this one…”Did God send me this e-mail?” So many times, we let discouragement or situations dictate our decisions, decisoins that have BIG consequences and BIG impact…not just to us as individuals…but to our students, who mostly are at very critical times in their lives. So, let me just say “THANKS” for reminding us that what we do as youth pastors is so very vital. Sometimes, the enemy takes advantage of opportunities to make us doubt our calling. I’m blessed to have a senior pastor who is always reminding me of what this article highlights, by simply asking me “are you called?” The answer for me is YES! This article is spot on and a great reminder of that, as well.
BLESSINGS! ~ Joshua 3:5 ~
Awesome stuff, Ryan. Thanks for stopping by!
That is awesome Cheryl! I have just turned 49 and I am still working in youth ministry. This article helped me also. I’m not a full timed youth pastor and work a secular job due to our small church. I have been in youth ministry for almost 15 years. At times I felt I was to old to work with youth. I actually so called retired about 3 years ago and came out of retiredment to help the church I am now located. I actually was talking to some youth one day was talking about thinking about retirement, the one boy simply asked “why”. That small word opened my eyes that young people are looking for someone who has a deeper wisdom about some things. I don’t know if I will ever be away from youth ministry. May God bless you as you continue to work with youth.
Oh man, loved the article. So many things in there just confirmed what I have felt for a long time, I am not too old to still be in the youth ministry. It is my passion. It is what I have been called to do. I used to think, I can do this until I am 35. 35 came and went and I thought, I can do this until I am 40. 40 came and went and I thought, 45. 45 came and went and soon I reached 50. Now, soon to be 54 years old and I realize that I am a much better pastor to students than I was in my 20′s – 30′s – 40′s. I am making disciples now. Have much more care and compassion for the troubled teen. I can’t imagine doing anything other than youth ministry. Thanks for the article. It ministered to me today.
Don, Your faithfulness ministers to us all, as well. God bless you and your ministry!
Thanks. I needed to hear that. At 54 years old I have been in youth ministry for about 6 years and most times feel out of my element. That can be the most powerful of times in ministry because I am on my knees and out of the way of what God wants to do. Satan messes with your head about the age thing. If you really care and love these teens, they don’t really care about your age. Dear God…help me to remember that tomorrow!!
Amen, Paul! Good word . . .
I had not accepted the Lord asmy Savior until the age of 53 and I have been asked on 2 separate occasions to lead the youth. Currently I am the youth leader t our church at age 60. I felt that I needed to be stepping down several times, but I am encouraged to stay there due past life expierences that I have had in my life as a totally misguided youth and to direct this as a guidance to the “younger generation”.
Matt, what an awesome testimony! Thanks for being an encouragement today. How cool is it to know that God is never through with us! God bless you and your ministry. Thanks for stopping by.
I wanted to thank you on writing this as I am 58 years old and been a volunteer youth pastor for 15 years and have been thinking it was time to move on so this gave me encouragement.
Rick, So glad God was able to speak to you through this little post. Be encouraged! What you’re doing makes a difference. Thanks for stopping by!
What a great article! I am 49 and felt called to youth ministry just in the last 2 years. I have recently gotten a full time position as youth director. I followed a young man who was amazing and did great ministry. I feel old compared to him but I know I have something to offer. Some days though my head and body tell me I’m crazy. I will go on… Thanks for the encouragement.
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Haha this is too funny. I am 54 and my wife is 49. We have two kids 17and 15. We have been leading the youth four years now. I absolutely love it. I enjoy working with kids( better than adults. Lol). Lately I have been feeling the same. Like its time to move on. You have encouraged me beyond my imagination. I will not stop!!!!! Thanks
Wayne, This is awesome! I think we all feel many of these feelings. Hang in there! You’re just getting started.
This gives me hope, as I am 54 and have just been made Youth Leader, to start a youth program at our church.I thought I was too old but it seems the kids don’t think so.We are growing and I love it. I try and let them come up with their own ideas and then just guide them on a theological path and intercede with prayer.I am not above getting down and dirty with them and we often do.I also provide a valuable (I think),link between the youth and the adult church.I do not want 2 separate churches.So I bring them together as much as possible and get them to pray for each other as much as possible.
Thanks for the encouragement. I am 53 and have been feeling like I am too old but haven’t felt that push from God to leave the ministry so I have been praying…praying…praying. It’s funny, I tell people that 6 years ago when I started working with youth, I could outrun the fastest teenager, now I’m afraid to run b/c I could “break” or injure something!! It also takes a bit longer to re-coup from retreats and overnighters but I take the time I need and have been bringing along younger church members to make up for my sitting on the sidelines. Most of the kids still think I am younger than their parents so I must be doing something right!
I have often said I am tired of youth ministry being treated like the drivers ed car. “Here practice on this, and if you don’t screw it up, we will let you drive the real family car” Youth ministry, or ministry that is inclusive to youth, should be a destination, not an apprenticeship, and not something that is left behind because you are now too good for it.
Amen to that. The adults are just maintenance anyways. Lol jk
Thanks for chiming in, Wayne!
Next month I will be 57 years old and I’ve been in the music and youth ministry for 30+ years. For the past 13yrs. I’ve served in as a minister of music as well as youth minister. I really needed this encouragement today. For about two years now, I’ve really been thinking of moving out of the youth position even if it meant changing churches to do it. I realize the Lord can still use me and the things you’ve written about are so true, but as I go to area youth meetings and see the younger men and women there it seems they just don’t understand what you are saying here. They make me think at my age I should have been gone years ago. Many will make me feel really bad or perverted even that you would want to hang out with young people at this age especially. I love being with young people and I still relate pretty well with them as I try to stay updated and in touch with them through school, media, etc. Now that doesn’t mean I can still run and romp with them as I did in my 20′s but overall I still feel needed and I guess until the Lord calls for me to move on to something bigger and better I think I’m going to grab my cane and keep following your advice. Thanks again, You’ve made me feel better about what the Lord has for me to do in my old age. Yeah! Dennis it’s time we drive the family car! Let’s get to it!
Wow, love this. I’m just out of high school and am loving being a youth leader, but I know some people who are in there 30′s and 40′s working in the youth ministry that are great assets to the staff! Moreover they’re *loved* by the students and definitely not “out of touch” with them. If God calls me to continue in youth ministry that long, I’ll be glad to.
), but she is one of the most important people in my life & a dear friend who has helped me so much. Having someone older to help guide you through life is a great thing, which is why I’m glad that someone out there is making this point!
We started a mentoring program to allow the students to find an adult they connect with that has more experience, and that can give them advice and help them grow. It’s been amazing to watch adults of all ages step up and connect with the students. My mentor is twice my age (yeah, I tease her about it sometimes
Julie, Love the mentoring idea. Thanks for stopping by the blog!
Thank you Andy. I fully agree that we do have a lot of value to pour into the lives of the younger generations that younger people cannot because of life experience. Here are 2 benefits as I see them (I apologize if these are redundant to above comments. I didn’t read them all):
1. We minister to a fatherless generation. For those of us who are males we are at or near the age of their fathers. So while we are not their fathers, we can provide some stability and wisdom that they need in a father figure. (We can play the father role, our younger volunteers can play the hip-cool person role.)
2. We can relate to the parents better and have a better idea of what it’s really like to be a parent of a teen. Therefore we may be able to help them minister to their own children better.
I’ve only been a youth pastor for 5 years and I am 36 but I can see both of these becoming increasingly true in our ministry context.
Great points, Chad. I especially like your thoughts on ministering to the fatherless. Great addition, and very true. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts.
What great posts and comments. I love seeing the number of posts by those of us 40 and older. Two things have made me more effective as I’ve gotten older in student ministry (I’m a 13 year veteran) — I’ve committed to staying in for the long haul constantly working to improve and develop my skills. Two, I have matured as a parent. A youth ministry professor once told me, credibility goes up when you become a parent of a teenager — I have experienced that. I’m better equipped to relate to students and understand parents. I am mature more mature in my faith and am seeing how God is working through me in new and exciting ways. I’m not the least bit tired (well maybe after a lock-in) and love what I do. Don’t want to do anything else. I got another 10-15 years in me.
Chad, this is a great post. I love your two points. I am tracking with you in time in ministry and have definitely noticed a difference ministering out of a deeper personal spirituality. Also, your point about parenting is very true. I don’t have teenagers yet, but I’ll say that even parenting my young children has given me greater empathy with parents, and with teenagers alike. Thanks for raising some great points and thanks for stopping by.
62 years old! In youth ministry in same church for 30 years. Love God and Love Kids. Nuf said.
Well, I’ve got you all beat. I’m 66 and just started working with our Jr. & Sr. High Youth Group last October. A number of things kept happening that made me feel that God was calling me to share what He has done in my life with our youth. We needed volunteers to work with our youth so I decided to heed what I thought was His call. My husband and I never had children so I prayed a lot, looked to the Holy Spirit for guidance and jumped head on in. I’m taking advantage of everything I can learn about working with youths. I’ve learned that building a relationship of trust and caring is imperative. I may be teaching them but they are also teaching me and making me feel alive and younger than my years. At one point, one of the youths asked me if I had any kids. I told him, “NO, it wasn’t in God’s plan.” He said, “Well, you have us, we’re you’re kids.” It brought tears to my eyes. I know for sure this was all in God’s plan, for the youth and for me. HE IS AN AWESOME GOD!!!
Maryann, What an awesome story! I love it. Thanks so much for sharing.
This is a very helpful post. It is so refreshing to hear someone saying this so well. As an almost 36 year old youth worker, I appreciate and identify with so much that was said here. Thank you for posting this.
Thanks Robbie. I’m right there with you (35). Just getting warmed up!
Thanks for posting this. It’s refreshing to hear these things said so well. As an almost 36 year old youth worker, I can identify with so much in this post.
All these replies are such a blessing to read! I am a 49 year old volunteer youth minister and have been in youth ministry for almost 15 years. My wife and I were unable to have children but we feel are blessed with so many! So many times I thought I was too old and this has really encouraged me. God bless you all and keep doing what you are doing! We are needed to minister to these awesome youth!
This is something that has been on my heart a lot lately. Andy you are right on about people using youth ministry as a stepping stone into “real” ministry. I feel youth ministry as a whole has been trying to break free from that mold that has prohibited us all from greater things. It does not surprise me that we start hearing the temptation to leave ministry, right about the time we have the wisdom to lead our leaders, teach our students, and better relate to supplemental ministry to their parents. After all in war, you attack the leader and the whole camp starts crumbling down. You knock out an experienced leader, and ministry is setback a little bit.
By the grace of God he provides in these moments, but when are we all going to get that Youth Ministry is MINISTRY! In many ways THE ministry. Let us all laugh and move on from the comments of “so you hang out with kids all day…when do you think you will get a real job?”, and reply that in this world families are torn, heartache is around the corner, and everyone is telling the students to grow up. We are a small voice with great power in creating a generation that is truly the oaks of righteousness to be a planting of the Lord for his splendor (Isaiah 61:1-4)How will the youth grow into that beautiful image if we chop ourselves down (and out of ministry) before we have the chance to show them what that looks like. I believe God is raising up some oaks around the country in order to overcome the deception of “being too old.” Andy thanks for reminding us all.
PS: 7 essentials… is priceless! I believe it should be a staple for any new leaders and perhaps a reminder for some of us vets as well.
Chad, VERY well said. I love the way you view youth ministry. Your heart for the Kingdom and for teenagers shows through in your comments. And thanks for such gracious remarks about 7 Best Practices. Kind of you to say! It’s a privilege to be able to serve you and your leaders. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts. God bless you!