Youth Ministry Essentials: Leading An Awesome Discussion
Chances are, if you work with youth, you lead group discussions. Whether it’s small groups or large groups, there are times (probably many of them) where you are in front of a group, helping to guide a discussion on any variety of topics.
So what does it take to lead awesome discussions?
I’ll share a few basic tips in a moment. But first, I want to challenge you to think about your role as discussion leader. I want to challenge you to think of yourself less as a teacher and more as a facilitator. The difference in these roles is subtle, but important. Teachers instruct. And while you may be an interactive teacher, teaching is usually done (whether by default or not) in a lecture format.
However, when your goal is to lead a group discussion you are more likely going to play the role of a facilitator. A facilitator is defined as “one that helps to bring about an outcome by providing indirect or unobtrusive assistance, guidance, or supervision” (Webster’s).
See the difference?
Grasping the shift in roles is actually the first step to running great discussions! Below are some more guidelines you may consider implementing as you facilitate your group discussion:
Create a safe environment
A safe environment is one where students feel comfortable sharing their thoughts without fear of being ignored, marginalized, or worse, ridiculed. This is important. Creating a safe environment will go a LONG way toward facilitating great discussions. How do you go about doing this? Here are some thoughts:
- Be extremely aware of your nonverbal (i.e., nodding, smiling, eye contact) feedback to those contributing to the discussion.
- Stay in-tune with students’ nonverbal feedback, as well.
- Don’t let any student dominate the discussion.
- If you notice others snickering at a comment just shared, you have to address it. (You can gently do this during the group or afterward.)
- Even if you don’t agree with students’ comments or perspectives, don’t tune them out or disregard their input.
- One of the greatest ways you can help group members feel “safe” is by simply listening to them until they’ve finished talking, and then repeating back what you’ve heard them say. This behavior does not express agreement with what they’ve shared as much as it says to them that you value their efforts and heard what they had to say.
- And, at risk of this being obvious, I still need to say that you never say anything that could be mistaken as embarrassing by members in your group.
Be flexible
It’s wise to have an outline of specific points and discussion questions you want to cover during the group. Think of this as your road map of where the discussion might go. However, the dynamics and needs of the group may go in a direction, one you had not predicted. It’s best to strike the balance of being willing to go “off course,” and yet capable of bringing the discussion back to the planned goals. Don’t be afraid of this! Oftentimes, these are the best groups!
Offer various mediums for discussion
Group discussions do not have to always be people sitting in a circle, talking. Group discussions can be done with someone writing answers to questions on a white board, or by implementing “icebreaker” types of games. For example: One of the best discussions I had with a group was playing the concentric circle game. It only requires three different sizes of rope (making them into small, medium, and large circles on the floor) and candy. As group members throw their candy into one of the rope circles, they share something about themselves or the topic at hand. The smaller the circle the candy lands on, the more personal the sharing.
A great group discussion could take place while playing a game of basketball or just walking around a park. Don’t feel confined to sitting in a room! Oftentimes, discussions in these more natural settings lead to members feeling more at ease anyhow.
Facilitating a great discussion is not always easy, and it takes some practice. But with a little intentionality, your discussions will take on a life of their own, providing the vehicle for meaningful spiritual growth in your students.
Brendt Blanks is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. As such, she has led hundreds and hundreds of group discussions! She is experienced in working with teenagers in a variety of counseling settings, and volunteers with her church, leading a discipleship group of junior high girls. Brendt lives in Birmingham, AL with her husband, Andy, and their three daughters.
I have been trying for over a year to have a more discussion based youth group. Sometimes it works – like when everyone is happy and doesn’t have any drama (!), but most of the time all I hear is crickets. Any suggestions?
Janice, I think we can all relate to the silence! While it can be awkward, part of leading a great discussion is being OK with some silence. But, maybe the personality of your group just doesn’t lean toward discussion? If you have more introverted students, discussion might not be the best option. Maybe you could play around with different teaching styles to see if another style works better for them?
There is definitely an art to discussion leading. Thanks for the post. I’m forwarding it to my jr. high leaders to read.
Nikomas, I’m happy the article worked for you!
Fantastic article, Brendt!
It have found that environment and dynamics are key to flourishing discussion groups. As Brendt stated, a safe place to voice opinions is a must. Number one rule is to respect the speaker. You don’t have to agree – but you must respect. Also, creating an environment of anticipation can really get your kids excited about sharing. To communicate to each member either one-on-one or in group that you, as the leader, are anticipating great insight, feedback, and input from everyone – that you get excited about what they are going to say. Even if they are off target you get jazzed about their participation. You telegraph that you are on the edge of you seat about what is going to be said about that night’s topic. Also, letting them know that although you are thoroughly prepared with a lesson, you are willing to “rabbit trail” in order to go where God desires the group to go. Like Brendt says – be flexible! I know we all feel the need to squeeze every last bit out of curriculum we’ve purchased. But I find when I stick hard and fast to the lesson our discussion dwindles. Curriculum is a great springboard not a straight jacket.
Also, group dynamics has tremendous influence. If the kids all know each other well and generally get along – bonus. However, if there are undercurrents of bad feelings, that needs to be addressed. Maybe not so surprisingly, non-Wednesday night activites such as a lock-in or community service activity can go a long way in creating bonds between members that will be reflected in open discussions on Wednesday nights.
Thanks for allowing me to share! I appreciate all the insight you all have!
Wow! These are great thoughts, Kathleen! I;m jotting down some of them to keep in mind for future thoughts on the subject. Thanks!
I agree with everything you said 100%. Discussion groups have always been my strong suit. I usually start with a game or a group building activity. I use a prepare worksheet if it’s middle school age kids. Some learners like to fill in the blanks. If my brain goes blank I can just jump to the next question to get me back on track (more about that on my blog if you want: http://freesundayschoollessonplans.blogspot.com/).
If the kids are not into the conversation I occasionally pull out the candy. They get a piece for any response. If they’re not paying attention it gets bounced off their head.
Discussion based groups are more likely to increase in attendance than other groups. I have lots of tips on my website and my discussion guides are there too (free).
Great post Brendt, Thanks!
This is both practical and insightful. I will be passing this on to my volunteers who lead small groups! Thanks again!
These are all great ideas, but how about a good question? You know, the kind of question that students respect because it doesn’t treat them like toddlers, but also gets them to open up. My favorite is, “Do most Christians settle?” OR “What makes a good teacher?”
yes, Andrew! Great addition. And I would add that open ended questions are great too, the kind of questions that you might not be able to answer in a single session. Thanks for stopping by!
I just switched from the lecture to discusion and the students like it but onoy because they get to talk and they do just not on subject. How do I keep the students on track any thoughts would be great.