T.M.I. In Your Youth Ministry?
As I interview potential volunteers, I have the opportunity to hear from all different ages and spiritual stages. One statement that usually concerns me when a potential leader approaches me about serving in our girls ministry is when it is evident that she values her life experience as the prime transformational tool she has to offer to students.
It sounds like this, “I made ________ (insert unwise choice, bad experience, or addiction) and I would love to share this with girls so they don’t do the same thing I did. I really feel like I have a ministry to girls to share this with them.”
Now, I don’t dismiss this person’s heart or call. I don’t think that their past experiences are irrelevant. And I don’t automatically dismiss someone as a potential leader who may have this position. But I do make sure that this person is partnered with a leader who knows the equation to use when pouring into another’s life. What equation is that? Simple . . .
Speak God’s truth + live it out consistently = a life worth imitating.
Our stories from our past may be amazing, and in many cases they are indeed powerful. But according to Scripture, that’s not the thing the people we minister to are going to cling to:
Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.–Hebrews 13:7
Youth ministers, when it comes to recruiting volunteers, there are two important things to consider: 1) will they bring God’s Word in contact with students’ lives; and, 2) will they live in such a way that demonstrates the working of God’s Word in their everyday lives. It’s important for volunteers to share their lives with students, but it’s equally important for their past experiences not to become their primary ministry tool.
And volunteers, don’t forget that the reason we have an opportunity to pour into another isn’t just to share our experiences: it’s to share God’s transforming truth! As we walk through life with our students, we can let them know how God has transformed us and redeemed as is evidenced by comparing our new life with our past experiences. But our students first need to hear His Truth through His Word.
Having said all of this, we don’t have to hide our past experiences. The stories of God walking with us along our faith journey can be highly instructive. But how do we share our life experiences in a way that testifies to God’s power to redeem, but does not put an inappropriate amount of focus on us or our past? Here are a few questions to consider:
- Am I sharing this to bring attention to myself?
- Are there parts of this experience that do not need to be disclosed? Is there information that is “too much” for a certain age group to hear?
- Am I sharing this experience because I have been healed, redeemed, transformed or is this possibly a therapy session for me?
- What spiritual truth does this experience reinforce as I mentor this brother or sister in Christ?
Sharing an experience brings a certain level of authenticity, and can be a powerful testimony to God’s love and grace. As youth workers, we have to make sure that our stories and the stories of our volunteers serve as reinforcement to the Truth of God and His Word, not as the primary message of our relationship with students.
Amy Jo Girardier is the Girls Minister and Student Missions Coordinator at Brentwood Baptist Church. She is the founding editor of Girlsminister.com and has launched mygirlsministry.com to provide the first girls ministry social network. She gets to be the wife of Darrel and owner of Diesel the Boston terrier.
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Very interesting; had not thought about it that way – I am prone to sharing my past experiences. When I see my girls going astray, I particularly share them as a way of warning them what’s ahead. It might be in their best interests, however, to share with them what GOD has to say more and what I have learned through the things that I’ve suffered less. Do you think?
My boss, an amazing woman who is a member of our executive staff, shared her story last week to our high school students about coming out of the LDS faith here in Utah, making poor decisions as a high school student and young adult, and meeting Christ. She put it this way to the students: “I hope that you’re not hearing just my story, but God’s story.” She shared dark moments without giving distracting details. She was vulnerable enough to share her difficult times, but only for the purpose of sharing what GOD did through those times. It was a great lesson for me in how to be vulnerable but still keep it about God, not about us.
Thanks for your comment Benjer. I know it’s a struggle for me to remind myself to keep my experiences in check, so those questions truly came out of my own struggles. They also come out of a recent email from a former student who recently got married and was choosing not to even let the word divorce be used in their home because it wasn’t an option. She said she remembered me sharing that
Personal story when I was teaching about biblical marriage. I shared a personal story that reinforced a biblical truth…it didn’t minimize scripture but gave a tangible picture of that biblical truth lived out in our lives. I’m thankful that we like 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 we are lead by Christ and through us He spreads the fragrance of Christ. It’s through Christ that we must filter our stories…does this story smell mostly of me or does it smell of the wonderful aroma of a life transformed by Christ. It sounds as if your boss was able to do just that.
I have to admit that there is a temptation at times to tell students about our sins, because we think our story of sin is sometimes more captivating than our story with Christ. I mean both are linked because it’s a story of fall and then redemption; however, I liked how Amy Jo reminded us: “Speak God’s truth + live it out consistently = a life worth imitating.” Because it’s not the story we livED that captivates students it’s the story we LIVE. Great post, definitely worth sharing with my ministry leaders.
Yeah, Chris. Well said. I thought Amy Jo nailed this one, too.
Looking forward to adding you as a contributor next week. Thanks for stopping by!–Andy
A great post Amy Jo. You hit the issue right in the bullseye. It is so easy to let self sneak in as the primary message instead of the Bible. Experiences that support the Bible lesson – a much better plan than a Bible lesson supporting our experiences.
thanks Richard for your reply. I echo what Andy says…great statement!
Elevating past personal experiences/sin over the Scripture is foolish because students need to turn to the Word of God when the chips are down. YOU have no authority outside of the God of the Scripture.
I also wonder how to help someone who is not self aware they are elevating personal experience? The 4 questions mentioned here are good start for the humble.
What about Matthew 18? What are the chances students will sin when tempted because after all “my youth leader did it, and she’s okay”.
The weak/immature in Christ will often look for reasons to justify poor decisions. May we never be that reason!