Youth Ministry Essentials: Growing Your Youth Ministry
I was sitting at a senior graduation dinner and one thought continued to run through my head:
“Three to twenty six!”
Even I didn’t believe this was possible. And I had dreamed big. Just two years ago there was only three of them and now this! The even bigger news? The next year we would graduate 52.
How did it happen? What was the formula? How can we do it again? As I began to think about all those questions, one thing stood out. There was not one graduating senior with whom we didn’t have a story. There was not one senior with whom we had not experienced a “life-long” memory. All of them truly had close relationships with their life group leaders and me.
I had an overwhelming sense of contentment. We did it the right way. We had not fallen into the trap of viewing these students as number boosters. We had not manipulated them into coming. We had not simply entertained them. We had invested in their lives. And in return, they began investing in their friends’ lives. (Which was the plan all along!)
The truth is, students are smart. They know when they are being used and when you really care. At the end of the night, one comment stood out and forever changed my view of youth ministry. She said when she started coming to Rock Creek, “she felt wanted, not just needed.”
There are thousands, upon thousands of teenagers out there who need to “feel wanted, not just needed.” I have fallen into the trap before where you aren’t looking at students so much as individuals, but more as how they can help your numbers look on a roll. It’s a place I hope to never be again. If you find yourself there, may I suggest you ask yourself the simple question, why it was that you began youth ministry in the first place. Loving teenagers should be a big part of the answer.
As I lay in bed that night after the ceremony, still questioning how exactly we had experienced such strong growth, I found the answers to my questions:
The formula is simple, but costly!
We must continue to take Jesus as He is to students as they are!
We must love them.
We must serve them.
We must invest in them.
We must make disciples.
That is what we do . . . it is why we exist.
Jason Curry is the Pastor To Students at The Church at Rock Creek in Little Rock, Arkansas. Jason is also a frequent speaker at Student Retreats, Camps, Disciple Now events, parent conferences, college retreats, & church wide events. Check out his website to learn more.
Share your thoughts with the youthministry360 community:
What do you do when you feel that you have been investing in your youth, doing everything you can the right way and not focussing in on numbers and nothing happens? I love my kids, hang out with them, try to pour the word of christ into them and cannot get them to tell their friends about Christ or invite them to church. I’ve been doing youth ministry for 8 years now but seem to be lost with my group.
Shevi, My heart hurts for you. It really does. I am sorry you are experiencing what you are experiencing. I have had similar experiences over the past 12 years. They are not fun.
You know, you didn’t ask for advice, but you might try and isolate one specific goal. For instance, if you want your students to bring friends to church, sit down and brainstorm strategies for accomplishing this. Focus a couple of messages on it. Have you actually asked them to commit to doing it? If not, ask them to commit to bringing a friend, and then (without beating them over the head) hold them accountable to their commitment by reminding them during the week. Try and pinpoint any obstacles keeping them from bringing friends, and then work within your power to lessen the impact of those obstacles. You may be doing all of these . . .
Sometimes we give it all and it doesn’t work like we want. But be encouraged that you are being faithful to God and to your calling. Keep investing your life in theirs. Keep teaching and modeling the Word. In 1 Corinthians 3 Paul talks about the fact that sometimes we plant seeds that other people water and eventually harvest. You may be called to be a seed planter in the lives of these students. You may never see the harvest that may take place years down the road. But by remaining faithful to what God has called you to, you are being accountable to the Lord. Which is a really cool and important thing.
Please hang in there. Know that we will be praying for you. I would love for our other youth workers in the YM360 community to pitch in and offer their thoughts. Keep checking back here just in case.
God Bless You! Andy
Shevi, as a teacher and youth leader I understand completely your discouragement. I have many times gone home from school and cried because of the apathy I sensed in my students.
What keeps me going is knowing that I am doing God’s will. It may seem like a trite answer, but there it is. God wants me to do his will in the positions I am in. He will not hold me responsible for the reactions my students have, just my actions toward them.
I would also encourage you to pray for comfort. I have often prayed fro and received comfort and it does make a difference.
Hey Shevi!
I was also recently having the same problem. The best way to find out what teenagers want is to ask them. My teenagers told me that if they’re input isn’t considered, then they don’t feel any ownership in the ministry and therefore are disinterested in anything going on and don’t have a desire to invite anybody else.
If you haven’t already, let them plan events, let them lead discussions, come up with outings, games, etc. Even if you may not think it’s all that great or not that fun, if the majority of them agree on it, then go for it. You want them to go to youth service/group out of desire, not out of obligation. Have a discussion session with them and find out what they want out of their youth group, and then pull them in to help make it happen.
Hope this helps a little.
Damien, Great ideas . . . As long as you have a core approach to teaching Scripture and providing avenues for students to apply its truths, I think leaving a lot of the look and feel up to the students is a great way to encourage growth and ownership.
Thanks so much for sharing. Great thoughts.
Hi Shevi,
It can be tough… kids don’t give you feedback the way you’d normally get in a different line of work. At the risk of sounding trite or giving a “church answer,” in addition to all the great suggestions below, I’d suggest asking God to keep your eyes open to where you and your ministry have been successful. You may see growth in areas you weren’t looking for or be surprised by what you find!
Although we don’t know each other, I’ll be praying for you. Know that you have support in your own church, here online, and around the world!
Mike
Hi!
One idea (again that you may have tried) is to have an event that is just fun and not “churchy” at all…like a paintball outing, laser tag, bowling night, game night, a “field day”, a messy Olympics Day, or swim party at the YMCA, etc…which will be easier for your kids to invite their friends. Find a way like door prizes to collect information and then when you have other events like Wed Night Youth, DNOW, Camp, Retreats, etc. send them postcards and mailers inviting them to come! Also I have found a lot of success in personal hand written cards just saying it was nice to meet you, listing something cool I learned about them at the fun day, and inviting them to come to youth group or Sunday School. (This especially goes over well with girls at least since that’s who I minister to! ha!) Once you have gotten to know the newbies they will be more likely to come to other, more “churchy” events, and…more importantly, hear what you have to say about the gospel. Teens today are all about trust!
Mainly – just keep focusing on glorifying Christ and He will bless your efforts…even if it’s just a few awesome kids…remember…it’s a few awesome kids! PTL!
I’ll be praying for you this week as well.
Hello!
My wife and I recently took over a youth pastor position up north. Long story short, one which I do not know all the details, the former youth ministers left the group in a bit of a mess and practically ran the kids off. In the two months we have arrived, we have tried to reconnect with those kids and are able to get 2-4 kids coming a week. Not always the same kids, and not always every week. The congregation is older and not too many younger families to help out. Our latest endeavor was a youth night, including worship band, guest speaker, and “after party”…three other youth groups showed, 2 of my students showed up and skipped out before the guest speaker was done.
This is the reality that I am facing at the moment and it’s been a bit disheartening…We are praying dutifully.
How would you suggest growing the group from outside the walls of the church? The local high school will let me put up a fliers (after school board approval) but I can not go in or be a volunteer councilor because of giving “christian advice”. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated. Thank you, God Bless.
I hope it’s okay if I chime in here… First, it’s obvious you’ve been handed a tough situation. There’s nothing that will change the road that the ministry has taken to this point, but it’s okay to just acknowledge that fact. Second, I’d start by loving the students who you do know and have connected with. Focus on building a healthy, Christ-centered community, even if it is only 2-4 students. If you have that community, that will be attractive to students outside your walls, and you’ll have a great community to invite other students into–especially those who don’t know Jesus.
If you’re interested in making connections inside the schools, you might consider volunteering where you have some strengths and gifting, making clear, you just want to serve. I volunteer once a week at a local high school as a tutor. I make sure to honor the guidelines of workers in a public school, but the students do know what I do for a living and will ask questions. I definitely see it more as a way to just give freely as Jesus gives and a bridge to the community rather than a way to get students into our particular ministry.
It can be a tough road, but it’s worth it, Josh. I’ll make sure my wife and I lift up you and your wife and your church during our morning prayers tomorrow.
I realize that this is a post from last year, but I work in the youth ministry at my church. We have an youth pastor who could be amazing, but he doesn’t appear to be sold out to being a youth pastor, he puts about half time into it, and the other half is spent focusing on other things. He puts kids off when they come to him to talk (not all the time, but alot). He has been pretty absent this summer, and the kids miss him, and feel like he doesn’t care about them. I don’t know what to say or how (or who) to approach this subject with…I know he has a heart for youth ministry, but even when we went to camp this year, he barely spent time with any of them…how can I help him to not only encourage him to put a little more effort to the kids, but also to pastor his volunteers, instead of leaving us hanging all the time. Any suggestions, ideas?? They would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Tina,
I’m speaking from 7 years of part-time youth ministry, so take it for what it’s worth.
I was approached several years ago, from a team leader in your position, and was asked a simple question: “Is youth ministry what you want to be doing?” My first thought was to be offended, and I was. We didn’t have a very long conversation, but a few weeks later we spoke at length. I considered the idea, why would anyone even NEED to ask that question? I realized that I was not acting as if I wanted to be at all involved with a youth ministry. I realized that this individual put their relationship with me on the line. That’s tough, but when you have youth looking for Jesus and there is no third party (outside the home) to model Christian behavior, that’s a dangerous scenario. Catalysts can often occur as a spark. Maybe you will be a spark to someone, and maybe that individual will light some fires (so the metaphor broke down, but the fires are supposed to be good things
Bless you Sister
Joe
Hey everyone,
So Im in a tough spot. What had happened was there was a disagreement between the youth pastor and head pastor. This caused a riff in the church. A big one. Our youth pastor left and he left an impact. Our youth group was growing and on fire while he was there. there was about 30 kids coming regularly. Since his departure people that were under our youth pastor took over and the college students(interns as we call them. I am one of those “interns”. Since the youth pastor left our numbers have depleted and outside of the interns we have a range between 1-6 high school students come. The students are losing interest if they havent already. Even some of our core teens that have been around for years are making worldly choices. Plus none of them do any reach out. After this graduating class we will only have 1 high school student left. We as interns and as youth leaders are unsure what to do. We have game nights away from the church and bible studies during the week for discipleship. We are so unsure what to do. And sometimes i feel as though im one of the few that care about the youth group any more. It is definitely disheartening alot of times but i know God can still reap a harvest from the dust. but if you guys have any ideas or words of encouragement, anything, that would be amazing. God Bless.
Brian
Brian,
First off, I really am saddened that you are in this position. What a mess . . . I would love to pass this along to a few youth pastors whom I think would really handle this well. So, if you’ll allow me, I am going to send that email to a few folks today. I’ll forward you their responses.
But for my two cents, I would start with prayer. I’m sure you’ve spent countless time praying. But I’d suggest praying as a team with the other interns, if you haven’t already. Just a start. But then I would meet this issue head on. I would do absolutely everything in my power to confront this relationally. I would not look to your programming as the answer. I would seek to talk to each student and their parent(s), listening to them, building those bridges back one at a time. In my mind, that’s what it will take to transition.
People are hurt. Without knowing the details I can confidently say that based on the response. You and your other interns are in the best position to help address that hurt. It’s circle the wagons time! Get everyone on your youth team involved in reaching out personally to these individuals who have stopped coming. That’s my thought, anyway. I’ll be in touch with any other responses I get. I’ll be praying for you Brian.